THE GOLDEN APPLE OF DISCORD

  Why am I writing this blog? In the hope that natural curiosity will keep you reading beyond these opening lines so that your family never experiences what happened to us. 

    If, years ago, anyone had predicted that one day my siblings and I would be locked in litigation over our mother’s estate, I would have called that person mad. Us? Never! Yet, less than a month after Mother died alone on August 1, the unthinkable loomed a certainty. 

   A New York attorney shocked me when he brushed aside my reason for calling. He said there was “nothing unusual” in our lawsuit against the executor of Mother’s estate. Nothing unusual. 

   Another lawyer explained why it is so common: Parents who have more than child “toss the golden apple of discord into the banquet” when they name one of their children sole executor of their Last Will & Testament. This singular role gives the unethical child legal means to manipulate it. 

   In the immediate days following Mother’s death in Atlanta, my sister Susan tried to get information from our older half-brother, the surprising sole executor of Mother’s estate. (“surprising” because Mother had vowed never to remove Trust Company of Georgia as co-executor.)

   When Bobby refused to answer Susan’s questions and threatened to revoke her share of the estate, she wrote him that we were new to this, so of course we had questions. But a lawyer friend in Maryland who read her letter, advised her to tear it up and retain one of three Atlanta attorneys.  

   A week later, Susan called me in East Hampton and told me to get a lawyer. I disagreed because I’d always known that my quarter share would be held in trust. But I soon learned she was right. 

   When Bobby visited me late July, he asked me to sign a document after he told me that Susan had signed her copy, the day before. I had no reason to doubt him but when I mentioned this to Susan in December, she didn’t know what I was talking about. She hadn’t seen Bobby since Easter. 

   At some point, I’ll introduce a subscription newsletter, initiate a separate Q and A corner and include a weekly brief. 

   If you have time, visit  http://allaboutbrothers.blogspot.com  . My ebook O Brother! is dedicated in memory to our brother, David. Had he been alive when Mother died, Bobby never would have gotten away with what he did.

 Be on the watch tomorrow for The Cornerstone of Inheritance.

I'm not a lawyer. I'm a writer of books and articles. I've told you this much about our lawsuit to let you know from whence I come. As I learned all too well in my research, "golden apples of discord" bruise too many families at all levels of society, over estates large and small, and for reasons that range from right to  

wrong to justified to plain off the wall craziness.

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     Lest anyone wonder how I could write any of this if I am not a lawyer, let me say this: I wasn't a drug counselor when I wrote the Putnam-published "If your child is drinking...." which was blessed with very good trade reviews. (I kept re-reading the reviews because I couldn't believe they were about my book): 

Library Journal said it was "well-researched...a comprehensive and constructive sourcebook". 

Kirkus Reviews called it "authoritative.... an excellent guide - straight forward and unflustered".

Publisher's Weekly found it comprehensive and "presented with practicality".  

     I'm a non-drinker because I loathe the taste of liquor but I wrote the book after I kept reading more and more newspaper reports about teenage accidents and deaths due to alcohol.

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      Let me end today with this thought:

     The tragedy of our story is not that it could have been avoided. 

     The universal sadness is that it is all too common.

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